The 36 questions
In 1997 psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues showed that two strangers answering thirty-six increasingly personal questions grow measurably closer — a 2015 New York Times essay made the list famous, and at least a few participants ended up married. It isn't a spell; it's structured vulnerability, taken in turns. Wording below is lightly adapted from the study.
How to play: read each question aloud; both answer, alternating who goes first. Three sets, deeper each time — about an hour total. At the end, the optional classic: four minutes of silent eye contact.
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
The finale: look into each other's eyes for four minutes. In silence. It's harder and better than it sounds.
Adapted from Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone & Bator (1997), "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness." Closeness guaranteed by no one; conversations, almost certainly.