What Kind of Friend Are You?

What the friendship quiz is really asking

Everyone already knows you’re a good friend. This quiz asks the more interesting question: how? Twelve situations (the shaky-voiced phone call, your superpower, birthdays, your lovable flaw, friendship in one image) sort your care into three styles. None is better; they’re different kinds of shelter.

It’s fun to take together: send the invite link to your group chat and find out who’s the kitchen, who’s the map and who’s the light. It’s useful because friendship friction often comes from mismatched styles, like a Compass offering a plan to someone who wanted soup.

Hearth, Compass or Lighthouse

• The Hearth: warmth incarnate. Soup, blankets, a table where terrible days shrink; let people feed you back.
• The Compass: the way-finder. You see structure in someone’s fog and hand back a path; sometimes pocket the map.
• The Lighthouse: the constant. Findable at 3 a.m., storm-proof; send up a flare of your own now and then.

How to take it honestly and what to do next

Think about what you actually did the last time a friend struggled, not what you wish you’d done. The flaw question is the honest mirror: if one of the three made you wince in recognition, trust it.

Then flip the quiz around: which kind of friend do I need right now, and who in my life is that? Hearths rarely have someone cooking for them, Compasses almost never get to be lost, and Lighthouses are the least often asked “how are you?”. Your small next step: tell one friend your style, ask for hers, and offer care in her language this week. A plan for a Compass, a visit for a Hearth, a simple check-in for a Lighthouse.

For conversation starters, deep questions work between friends too, and the Dialects of the Heart quiz looks at how you give and receive love more broadly. If you’re the one running low, signs of emotional exhaustion is worth a read.